“The whore is gone. Opportunity has presented itself.”

“Father, what have you done!? You stabbed her in the heart with a Weber 6492 Original Instant-Read Thermometer!”

“She was a witch.”

“She was my fiancé.”

“She had seduced you. You have been beguiled by her pale skin and vivacious enhancements.”

“I must call the sheriff….”

“Call the sheriff….

You know why I came back to Texas? Not only to hunt witches, but to make a man of my son; to make a man out of you.

When I was your age, I faced the same dilemma — I let my feelings get in the way of my duty and a witch took the heart of the sheriff’s daughter out of her body. Stunned I could only watch.

The heart, red, fleshy, continued to beat as the witch devoured it like an apple.

Never have I seen a man weep in such way.”

“Father, you’re despicable.”



“Here son, let me teach you, what does the dial of Weber read?”

“Ninety-eight point six degrees Fahrenheit.”

“Hm. Maybe she wasn’t a witch after all. Nevertheless….”