Colder than a Witch’s Teat
“The whore is gone. Opportunity has presented itself.”
“Father, what have you done!? You stabbed her in the heart with a Weber 6492 Original Instant-Read Thermometer!”
“She was a witch.”
“She was my fiancé.”
“She had seduced you. You have been beguiled by her pale skin and vivacious enhancements.”
“I must call the sheriff….”
“Call the sheriff….
You know why I came back to Texas? Not only to hunt witches, but to make a man of my son; to make a man out of you.
When I was your age, I faced the same dilemma — I let my feelings get in the way of my duty and a witch took the heart of the sheriff’s daughter out of her body. Stunned I could only watch.
The heart, red, fleshy, continued to beat as the witch devoured it like an apple.
Never have I seen a man weep in such way.”
“Father, you’re despicable.”
“Here son, let me teach you, what does the dial of Weber read?”
“Ninety-eight point six degrees Fahrenheit.”
“Hm. Maybe she wasn’t a witch after all. Nevertheless….”